"Men who want to be feminists do not need to be given a space in feminism. They need to take the space they have in society & make it feminist."

Kelley Temple, National Union of Students UK Women’s Officer   (via birdsuit)

"

If you’re a boy writer, it’s a simple rule: you’ve gotta get used to the fact that you suck at writing women and that the worst women writer can write a better man than the best male writer can write a good woman. And it’s just the minimum. Because the thing about the sort of heteronormative masculine privilege, whether it’s in Santo Domingo, or the United States, is you grow up your entire life being told that women aren’t human beings, and that women have no independent subjectivity. And because you grow up with this, it’s this huge surprise when you go to college and realize that, “Oh, women aren’t people who does my shit and fucks me.”

And I think that this a huge challenge for boys, because they want to pretend they can write girls. Every time I’m teaching boys to write, I read their women to them, and I’m like, “Yo, you think this is good writing?” These motherfuckers attack each other over cliche lines but they won’t attack each other over these toxic representations of women that they have inherited… their sexist shorthand, they think that is observation. They think that their sexist distortions are insight. And if you’re in a writing program and you say to a guy that their characters are sexist, this guy, it’s like you said they fucking love Hitler. They will fight tooth and nail because they want to preserve this really vicious sexism in the art because that is what they have been taught.

And I think the first step is to admit that you, because of your privilege, have a very distorted sense of women’s subjectivity. And without an enormous amount of assistance, you’re not even going to get a D. I think with male writers the most that you can hope for is a D with an occasional C thrown in. Where the average women writer, when she writes men, she gets a B right off the bat, because they spent their whole life being taught that men have a subjectivity. In fact, part of the whole feminism revolution was saying, “Me too, motherfuckers.” So women come with it built in because of the society.

It’s the same way when people write about race. If you didn’t grow up being a subaltern person in the United States, you might need help writing about race. Motherfuckers are like ‘I got a black boy friend,’ and their shit sounds like Klan Fiction 101.

The most toxic formulas in our cultures are not pass down in political practice, they’re pass down in mundane narratives. It’s our fiction where the toxic virus of sexism, racism, homophobia, where it passes from one generation to the next, and the average artist will kill you before they remove those poisons. And if you want to be a good artist, it means writing, really, about the world. And when you write cliches, whether they are sexist, racist, homophobic, classist, that is a fucking cliche. And motherfuckers will kill you for their cliches about x, but they want their cliches about their race, class, queerness. They want it in there because they feel lost without it. So for me, this has always been the great challenge.

As a writer, if you’re really trying to write something new, you must figure out, with the help of a community, how can you shed these fucking received formulas. They are received. You didn’t come up with them. And why we need fellow artists is because they help us stay on track. They tell you, “You know what? You’re a bit of a fucking homophobe.” You can’t write about the world with these simplistic distortions. They are cliches. People know art, always, because they are uncomfortable. Art discomforts. The trangressiveness of art has to deal with confronting people with the real. And sexism is a way to avoid the real, avoiding the reality of women. Homophobia is to avoid the real, the reality of queerness. All these things are the way we hide from encountering the real. But art, art is just about that.

"

Junot Diaz speaking at Word Up Bookshop, 2012 (via clambistro)

Once at a festival I went to a discussion panel with sci-fi writers and someone asked them how they would write a pregnant character. 

And all three of the male panelists said that they couldn’t, because they literally couldn’t even begin to put themselves in the position of being pregnant. 

These are sci-fi writers. They make their living writing about space lizards from Mars, or alien invasions, or futuristic dystopia where everyone breathes through their fingers or whatever

Their entire function is to write unimaginable, crazy, out-there stuff. That is the whole point of their existence. And they couldn’t even try to imagine what it would be like to be pregnant. It’s seen as this inherently and totally mysterious female thing, that no man can ever even think of representing, even though as men they write things that none of them have ever or will ever experience. 

It made me realise - In the world of sci-fi fiction, alien experiences are more human than women’s experiences. 

(via reasonsforfeminism)

So last semester in my intro fiction writing class, I called out this kid who had written the most vomitus and sexist short story, but I knew he had no idea. There is a huge void between thinking, “I didn’t write anything disrespectful about women!” (More or less what he said to me) and acknowledging “huh, I guess the female characters in this story existed purely for objectification and the perpetuation of the Mean Girl who won’t go to prom with you because someone asked her first and the Miracle Dream Girl who wanders in at the last moment and flatters every ounce of your sexist delusions about what kind of attention you deserve from women.”

Thankfully my (male) teacher, an older, married male student, and several other girls in my class joined in on this commentary, although these girls and I admitted after class that we could and should have been harsher. Thankfully, this kid will never be published. But some of the guys who didn’t mention the fact that the whole story was sexist crap? They might, or they might be working in submissions at a publishing house one day, and they won’t be looking for it.

Basically, this is the realest.

"

I don’t know what asshole invented the idea that teenage girls are the cause for all evil, but I really hope that person never has to raise one. I don’t want him to see her dissolve in his fingers as society tells her to eat less, be thinner, be the damsel in distress, be something for a man to fix, be different but not too different, be special but never ever a special snowflake - I don’t want him to watch as she realizes that no matter what she loves, she’ll be made fun of for it. She can simply like her coffee from Starbucks and suddenly she’s vapid and thinks herself poetic. She’ll want to play video games but be called a fake nerd, particularly if she poses in any remotely flirtatious way because for some reason despite the entire community playing games with poorly dressed women they still hate it when a real girl wears less clothing, she will be seen as trespassing in a specifically male space - but when she falls in love with a female-based television show for children, she’ll watch as men step on themselves to sexualize it. If she wants old-fashion romance she’s seen as being naive but at the same time is told to keep herself ‘pure’ for some dude that might not hurt her. If she admits to being anything, she makes herself a target. She will be told her worth is based on how much a man values her. She might love to cook but she’ll hate being asked to stay in the kitchen, she might love to read but get told she’s too introverted by half the population and ‘not that special’ by the other. If she loves to go out and party, she’s ‘just another college co-ed,’ if she loves to spend her friday nights watching anime, she’s a shut-in. God forbid she be proud of something: the words “I’m different from other girls” are a death sentence because we live in a society that doesn’t want to see women like that, a society that doesn’t like the idea maybe we all are actually different and not carbon copies of each other, maybe we all would like to feel unique and loved and worth knowing - maybe the real problem is that she will be raised to believe being a girl means silicone and photoshop and dying as a way to move forwards a plot - and she doesn’t want to be seen as that. When she says “I’m not like other girls,” she means she’s not like the girls she sees on tv, these invented two-dimensional creatures that say one line and then get chased down by monsters.

She can try all she likes. She’ll be shut down at every single fucking turn. What she doesn’t know is that they’re getting her ready for when she’s grown up because she’ll be so used to being stepped on she’ll just give up. Why respect women when you don’t even respect little girls?

And when she is burning up, when she mentions that her insides are volcanoes and her skin is too thin to contain them: she will be told she is hysterical, that she’s doing it for attention.

I don’t want him to watch as she shuts down, as she learns to live as a paradox, I don’t want him to see her rip herself to shreds in order to be perfect, I don’t want him to realize that there’s no way she’ll get help because she’s only doing what she’s told.

"

Teenage girls aren’t the downfall of society, society is the downfall of teenage girls. /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

"You know why LGBT people have such a bad impression of Christians? It’s not because of protesters with “God hates fags” signs. We know they’re extremists. It’s because of daily being dehumanized by the Christians who lecture and preach at us, treating us as issues instead of as human beings—and because of the Christians we know who stand idly by, thinking that if they’re not actively hating us, that counts as loving us."

womtynofcolor:

unfriendlyblackgoddess:

White feminists calling other white feminists “White Feminists” gets under my skin in a way I can’t quite explain…

probably because they are trying to separate themselves from their whiteness which is literally impossible. like acknowledge that you are also a white feminist and that you get benefits from white feminists. take it gracefully and challenge your sisters in ways that brown feminists cannot. 

"I tell my students that when you write, you should pretend you’re writing the best letter you ever wrote to the smartest friend you have. That way, you’ll never dumb things down. You won’t have to explain things that don’t need explaining. You’ll assume an intimacy and a natural shorthand, which is good because readers are smart and don’t wish to be condescended to."

fromthebeehivetothebay:

romanotomato133:

miyanagi-chinami:

OKAY NO

EVERYONE TAKE THIS FUCKING QUIZ RIGHT NOW

IM LITERALLY ANGRY ABOUT HOW ACCURATE IT IS FUCK THIS THING ALL I DID WAS CLICK ON COLORS ??? HO W DOES I TKNOW FRICK

SHOOT IT KNOWS

OH MY GOD

WHAT IS HAPPENING
WHY DID THIS TELL ME MY LIFE 

girljanitor:

criminal-record:

sushiandpie:

taco-bell-rey:

[image]

EXCEPT THIS ISNT JUST A FUNNY HAHA SILLY HEADLINE GUYS
this is really important and is a really great program that teaches skills to inmates and allows them to basically receive group therapy while they are simultaneously learning a craft
IT IS ALSO REALLY RADICAL BECAUSE IT BREAKS NOT ONLY THE STEREOTYPE THAT INMATES ARE INCAPABLE OF BEING DECENT HUMAN BEINGS WHO CAN TALK OUT THEIR ISSUES AND HEAL AND BE FUNCTIONING MEMBERS OF SOCIETY BUT IT ALSO SHOWS THAT TRADITIONALLY GENDERED HOBBIES LIKE KNITTING ARENT JUST “FOR WOMEN” AND ARE ENJOYABLE FOR EVERYONE.
here is an from the above article

They started by knitting comfort dolls, which they gave to children removed from their homes because of domestic issues. Then they moved on to hats for kids at the inner-city elementary school many of the prisoners attended, Zwerling says. “If you look at them, they’re covered with tattoos, they’re rough looking, and many of the young guys don’t have all their teeth,” she says. “But it doesn’t feel rough. They’re very respectful and grateful and very happy to knit.”

THEY KNIT COMFORT ITEMS FOR ABUSED KIDS. THEY KNIT HATS FOR INNER-CITY CHILDREN.
this is a good program and i really hope that people actually look into it rather than just posting the headline and a silly image attached ok
original article - x

Maryland represent!

My heart is fracturing into a million pieces because like, so many people are put into prison because like

and like, this shows how so many people are still invested and involved in their communities even though they’re incarcerated and like
my HEART

I FEEL ALL THE THINGSTHIS, MY FRIENDS, IS WHAT WE CALL A NICE IDEA

girljanitor:

criminal-record:

sushiandpie:

taco-bell-rey:

[image]

EXCEPT THIS ISNT JUST A FUNNY HAHA SILLY HEADLINE GUYS

this is really important and is a really great program that teaches skills to inmates and allows them to basically receive group therapy while they are simultaneously learning a craft

IT IS ALSO REALLY RADICAL BECAUSE IT BREAKS NOT ONLY THE STEREOTYPE THAT INMATES ARE INCAPABLE OF BEING DECENT HUMAN BEINGS WHO CAN TALK OUT THEIR ISSUES AND HEAL AND BE FUNCTIONING MEMBERS OF SOCIETY BUT IT ALSO SHOWS THAT TRADITIONALLY GENDERED HOBBIES LIKE KNITTING ARENT JUST “FOR WOMEN” AND ARE ENJOYABLE FOR EVERYONE.

here is an from the above article

They started by knitting comfort dolls, which they gave to children removed from their homes because of domestic issues. Then they moved on to hats for kids at the inner-city elementary school many of the prisoners attended, Zwerling says. “If you look at them, they’re covered with tattoos, they’re rough looking, and many of the young guys don’t have all their teeth,” she says. “But it doesn’t feel rough. They’re very respectful and grateful and very happy to knit.”

THEY KNIT COMFORT ITEMS FOR ABUSED KIDS. THEY KNIT HATS FOR INNER-CITY CHILDREN.

this is a good program and i really hope that people actually look into it rather than just posting the headline and a silly image attached ok

original article - x

Maryland represent!

My heart is fracturing into a million pieces because like, so many people are put into prison because like

image

and like, this shows how so many people are still invested and involved in their communities even though they’re incarcerated and like

my HEART

I FEEL ALL THE THINGS
THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS WHAT WE CALL A NICE IDEA

"I’m a Christian. And until the day when the world automatically understands that to mean that I believe in the full humanity and personhood of both men and women, you can also call me a feminist."

Amy Lepine Peterson, The F Word (via yesdarlingido)

"Changing the way we talk is not political correctness run amok. It reflects an admirable willingness to acknowledge others who once were barely visible to the dominant culture, and to recognize that something that may seem innocent to you may be painful to others."

"

What if
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter

What if
women were the ones who started wars

What if
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos and no K-Y Jelly

What if
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman and carried a gun

What if
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs

What if
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis

What if
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands

What if
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes

What if
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons

What if
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys with socks
tucked into the front of their jeans with articles like: “How to tell if your wife is unfaithful” or “What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate” or “The truth about impotence”

What if
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman and called you “Honey”

What if
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her was part of the job

What if
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes designed to keep you from running

And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them?

"

For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl. 

She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.

(via yesdarlingido)

stop trying to erase the line between yes and no

stopstriving:

either He made you, or He didn’t.

either He is completely good, or He isn’t.

either He has a better plan than you do, or He doesn’t.

either He deserves every part of your life, or He doesn’t.


either you believe it, or you don’t.

either you trust Him, or you don’t.

either you will give Him everything, or you won’t.

either you will say yes to Him, or you will say no.

enormouspockets:

“Girls and women of the world, could we stop apologizing for wanting and eating food? Because this is one of the most ridiculous things that we do collectively as lady-people, and not only does it annoy the shit out of me personally, but it is also INCREDIBLY SAD. Could we stop feeling “guilty” for wanting an effing brownie? Or a plate of fries? Could we stop actively seeking permission from our friends to go ahead and “be bad” and order the cheesecake? Could we all just go ahead and order whatever it is that we feel like eating, instead of saying, “Oh, I feel like a pig, you guys are just getting salads”? Because—now I know this will come as a shock—WOMEN EAT. We get hungry. We get hungry for pizzas and Double Stuff Oreos and nachos and ice cream and giant French-toast breakfasts, and you know what? WE DON’T NEED TO FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT. Here I am making a vast and sweeping gender stereotype, but do you ever, ever hear dudes say “I just want a little bite” or “This is so bad, you guys, but I totally ate a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s last night”? No! Because it’s OK for men to eat! Men get hongray! Men need frozen dinners called “Hungry-Man”! Men need Manwich! Boys are allowed to grow into men, but “attractive” women in our culture are expected to stay at pretty much an eternal pre-adolescent weight. What’s society’s current ideal man look like? Fit. Big muscles. What’s society’s current ideal woman look like? Thin. Really thin. No hips. No belly. Hairless except for the head. Basically a 10-year-old girl with boobs added for sex appeal. You see it everywhere—every café, every restaurant, every kitchen across the country. Women bargaining with waiters and friends about whether or not they should get a side salad or fries with their entrée. Women making demeaning jokes to one another about their desire for food, like “Once on the lips, forever on the hips” and “Well, it’s midnight, so technically your body doesn’t know whether it’s today or tomorrow, so the calories zero themselves out, hahaha” and women bonding with one another over their shared guilt! You’re being bad and getting the chocolate cake? Ooh, now that you’re doing it, let’s both be really bad, and I’ll order the key lime pie and we won’t tell a soul, will we? It’s just us girls! Why are we apologizing for wanting food? What the hell? BODIES NEED FOOD. WE DIE WITHOUT IT. Food tastes good! And we’re programmed to crave it! Sure, some food is healthier than other food, but what is up with punishing ourselves for wanting pickle chips? Why is it acceptable—nay! encouraged!—in our culture for women to feel guilty and publicly “admit” our guilt for wanting to eat a cookie? Why are we rationalizing our “bad behavior”—you know, our EATING—with statements like “I’ve been really good lately” or “I’m gonna need to walk this off later”? It makes me insane. I want this to end. I want women to allow themselves to want food. I want women to be hungry and ask for what they want to eat without apologizing. I want women to stop looking for permission from others before they eat something that is not a carrot or spinach. I want my friends to get the chili fries if they want the chili fries, and not say something like, “It all goes straight to my ____” (hips, thighs, butt, etc.). I want to see a girl sink her teeth into a huge cheeseburger and fries and not cut the burger in half to save some for later. I want my mother to allow herself more than one small square of dark chocolate per day. I want women to take pleasure in food, without punishing ourselves for wanting it. Hear me, womenfolk: I want all of us, everywhere, to stop apologizing, stop rationalizing our behavior, and just eat the damn brownie already.”

Eating: A Manifesto by Krista Burton for Rookie Mag (via aurelle)

i want to yell this from the rooftops like you have no idea. on a bad day, comments like this are really not safe for me so even if you can’t do it for yourself, PLEASE DO IT FOR OTHERS AROUND YOU WHO CAN’T HEAR THESE KINDS OF THINGS WITHOUT BEING TRIGGERED

(via thecolorsky)

"You must make decisions knowing those decisions make you."

Rakishi, “The son without his father” cir 1910 (via rainydaysandblankets)

"I’m starting to find that everyone’s Christian faith is utterly, uniquely different. Not so different on loving Jesus and loving people — but the way we wrestle through doctrine by strict academia or by poetic reflection, how we sing at the top of our lungs or in quiet osmosis, how some of us pray at sunrise in a pew or at three a.m. on a beach, how some of us are dying to journal or would rather die than journal, how our political tensions clash so broadly and brutally, how one forgives so quickly and the other is bitter indefinitely, how some of us are strong in faith or we’re faith-weaklings, how we each hold onto quirks like Bible translations and worship genres and preaching styles, how we like to gather in crowds of thousands or a group of a dozen.

There’s no need to fight over these things. No need to accuse another of being wrong, or to try to be better than the ‘other’ church, or to recast the same mold. We are so many shades of an endless jewel, a glorious community of unified diversity fueled by the endless imagination of God. I hope we don’t dash ourselves on our personalities. There is room for you and for me in this Body."